One of my favourite topics for jokes is talking animals. This one combines that with ships
Picture a large cruise ship, full of happy people taking their holidays. One of the entertainers on board is a magician and his presentations are very popular. The Captain of the ship has a parrot, and the parrot is usually caged in the auditorium so it can see the entertainment.
During one card trick the parrot suddenly calls out "He's using a trick deck! It's a Svengali deck!"
Indeed it is, so the magician moves to another trick...
During this trick he drops a card and bends down to pick it up. The parrot calls out "He's gonna switch cards! He is standing on the card he wants and will switch them when picking up the one he deliberately dropped!"
The magician is not happy, having his tricks ruined twice. But he moves to another trick.
This one involves predicting a word in an envelope. But the parrot will have none of it. "It's a force! You think you are choosing a word but it is set up with limited choices and he has muiltiple envelopes covering those few choices."
The magician is furious now, but as it turns out, the ship hits an iceberg at this exact moment. Disaster! Calamity!
There are (of course) just two survivors. The magician and the parrot. (What are the chances?) The magician has managed to get hold of a plank of wood and he is holding on to it at one end. Guess who is at the other end? Still in his cage? Yep, the parrot. And the parrot is staring fixedly on the magician.
Days go by with no words spoken between them.
Eventually the magician breaks. He screams at the parrot: "For Pete's sake, say something!"
The parrot thinks and then says "OK. I give up. What did you do with the ship?"
