Humor - we need so much to laugh

[Namabiiru]

I stopped at the gas station on the way to work this morning and found myself pondering one of the great mysteries of life: “Do women shake the nozzle after they’re done filling up?”

 

[Namabiiru]

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Nice boats!

To an idiot, stupidity looks like courage. “Hold my beer, and watch this…”

 

[Pepite 1/60]

To an idiot, stupidity looks like courage. “Hold my beer, and watch this…”

Sorry, but i'm very allergic to stupidity (and work ). Except maybe my own ...

 

[AllanKP69]

An elderly lady calls the hospital and asks rather tentatively:

"Could I speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The person answering is the picture of kindness and says:

"I’d be happy to help you; do you have the patient's name and room number?"

The elderly lady replies in a low voice:

"Jane Long, room 302."

The receptionist answers:

"Just hold on a moment, and I’ll go check with the staff on the ward."

After a few minutes, she returns and says:

"I have good news; the nurse just said the patient is doing very well—blood pressure is fine, all vitals are normal, and the senior physician, Dr. John, says she can go home tomorrow."

The elderly lady says:

"Thank you so much—that sounds wonderful, because she’s been a bit worried."

"You're very welcome," says the receptionist. "I'm glad I could help. Is she your daughter, perhaps?"

The elderly lady replies:

"No, I am Jane Long in room 302, and nobody tells me a damn thing!"

 

[Short John Bronze]

In the UK: "Courage" was the brand name of a beer. Stupidity was drinking it.