1. Three over today: One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.~ Baseball Hall of Famer George Brett
2. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula and I took a 7 to do that.~ Sports Writer Jim Murray
3. The only sure rule in golf is-he who has the fastest cart never has to play a bad lie.~ Baseball Hall of Famer Mickey Mantle
4. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them~ Actor Kevin Costner
5. I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.~ PGA Golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez
6. After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.~ PGA Golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez
7. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. ~Tom Weiskop.
8. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.~ Lord Robertson
9. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.~ Jack Benny
10. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.~ Ben Hogan
11. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best. ~Jack Nicklaus
12. The Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.~ Billy Graham
13. If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.~ Bob Hope
14. While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake in a sand trap.~ Henny Youngman
15. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball~ Jack Lemmon
