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Humor - we need so much to laugh

As the majority of members are older and hopefully wiser, these may be appropriate.
  • "If you want to know how old a woman is, ask her sister-in-law." (Eva Gabor)
  • "Old age comes at a bad time." (Ed Sullivan)
  • "Inside every Older person is a younger person wondering what happened." (Stevie Wonder)
  • "Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it." (Golda Meir)
  • "The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. (Mark Twain)
  • "Nice to be here? At my age, it's nice to be anywhere." (George Burns)
  • "You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you're actually not THAT tired." (Princess Grace)
  • "Old people shouldn't eat Health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." (Bob Hope)
  • "At my age, flowers scare me." (George Burns)
  • "It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone." (Andy Rooney)
  • "The older I get, the better I used to be." (Lee Trevino)
  • "I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me — they're cramming for their final exam." (George Carlin)
  • "It's like you trade the virility of the body for the agility of the spirit." (Ed Sullivan)
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I'll tell you about the cat I used to have. At the time, I was working at a car repair shop, and one day when I came home after work, Pim, my cat, was already waiting for me. She meowed happily, and after cuddling for a while, I went to remove the primer I had discovered on my sweater with refined petrol. I took a small cup and poured a little refined petrol into it to remove the stain with a cloth. This worked well, and then I put the sweater in the washing machine upstairs. The cup with refined petrol was still in the kitchen on the countertop.

When I came back to the kitchen and wanted to clean up the cup, it was empty. The refined petrol was completely gone. I thought it had evaporated. Until I heard a lot of noise in the living room and went to check.

Pim was running around the living room like a madman, you know, like a crazed Viking. He climbed like crazy into the curtains, back down again, and then up the curtains on the other side of the room. This went on for about 5 minutes. Suddenly, he sat still, high up in the curtains, stared at me, and fell to the floor. He lay there in silence.
 
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