At 79, I'm fast approaching your dilemma. My wife's memory is going precipitously. My heart has all the stents it can take. Sometimes exertion reminds me of just how little is left in the tank. "Senior living" looms., As does the reality of giving up the home and workshop that give my life meaning. I am fortunate in that I have a family who cares. But no one can really understand who isn't here (yet).
Your postings of the remarkable legacy of beautiful models you have created (as well as drawings, keep posting those) have been something I look for on this forum. I derive great pleasure and inspiration from them.
Sometimes the reality of life feels unendurable. The news is uniformly horrible. "I do not think I will live long enough to see our ship of state right itself. What did my father risk his life for?" These kinds of thoughts plague me.
Could be worse. I don't live in Gaza, or Kiev.
So, I read aloud to my wife from inspiring books, that, in turn, inspire us to have inspiring conversations for which she is once again intellectually present, and we can still have the pleasure of each other's company.
I am so distressed to hear the despair in your words and the inescapable conditions that confront you. Keep drawing. It has great value. I can promise that there are those of us out here to whom they are of great encouragement and inspiration.
You are not defined by what you can no longer do, but by what you have done and what you can.
Most sincerely
royal dream apk speeder, Pete Gutterman