People and Patience

Joined
Aug 2, 2018
Messages
456
Points
278

Location
Sydney, Australia
I agree with Donnie and all others on this thread- I'm in my mid 50s and yet the new crowd of managers and professionals think they know it all with little real life experience. I used to get them out of trouble but they took the credit for themselves only to improve their professional standing. I don't help them any more. Most are gone and I'm still here. ROTF
Here is a video just released that can explain some of what is happening:
The Rise of the Modern Emasculated Man
 
Joined
Apr 20, 2020
Messages
270
Points
278

Hope I don't get kicked off this thread for doing this, but I thought I can just lighten the mood just a tad.......We can all use a laugh sometime......

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

_____________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

_____________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential
downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;
now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

_______________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......

______________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me

for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets

and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that

I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started........

________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

That's how the fight started.

________________________________

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.
 
Joined
Dec 19, 2020
Messages
42
Points
68

Man learns all his life and dies a fool anyway.
Our baggage of experience grows every moment, but there are people who are like concrete walls, resistant to knowledge and difficult to control.
For me, the most important thing is to do what I love in my life. so as not to regret any moment of your life :)
 
Joined
Jul 28, 2014
Messages
715
Points
198

Location
Deception Bay, Queensland

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories:depression, humor, humorous, irony,

Saving McGee

Now down at our local pub
I noticed McGee at the bar
So I pulled up a chair, A bit unaware
That he was a bit under par

He said to me "Last night,
I tried to take me own life
I wanted to end my misery
In this world full of struggle and strife

So, I started to take a thousand pills,
and wash them down with wine
but after the second aspirin
I started to feel just fine
 

Donnie

Administrator
Staff member
Administrator
Joined
Aug 21, 2011
Messages
3,753
Points
588

Location
Madison, MS
those are all funny. My Grandmother had a saying that was funny - "Don't leave mad, just leave"
 

Kkonrath

Kurt Konrath
Joined
Feb 11, 2020
Messages
2,055
Points
488

Location
Oklahoma City OK
Those jokes remind me of a batch of what was called "Mommy Mommy Jokes" all very crude and politically incorrect!

as: Son: Mommy Mommy, why is daddy running so fast? Mother: Shut up and reload!

Daughter: Mommy Mommy, I am getting real dizzy! Mother: Shut up or I will nail your other shoe to the floor!

Brother: Mommy Mommy, I hate my sisters guts! Mother: Shut up and eat what's put in front of you!
 
Joined
Jul 28, 2014
Messages
715
Points
198

Location
Deception Bay, Queensland
Isn't it funny haha or funny peculiar the way this "thread" has turned, Donnie started this "feeling" / "sounding" depressed of which we can all relate to in spades.
We - everybody - that contributed to this thread has helped turn a "sad/serious" situation around to the funny side, well done! I hope that we have made Donnie feel better.
Donnie, if you have a penchant for writing, those goddamn frustrating things/episodes in life that make us want to grab someone by the Adams apple and bitch slap them until their lower areas start to bleed, can be turned into something amusing (with a little exaggeration of course, it's called poetic license).
See my frustration creeping in there, I am OK now, I've been put back into my straight jacket now that I have stopped growling and hissing.

I felt the same way a few months back and totally lost interest in electronic kit assembly(digital clock kits) as well as model boats and my cnc but I forced myself into other "projects" totally unrelated. At the moment having a sabbatical in Darwin and will be home on Jan.5, still have some of the projects to complete BUT there is a new vigor already.
 
Joined
Dec 19, 2020
Messages
42
Points
68

Grandpa comes to the pharmacy
and taps his hand on the glass with 5 fingers and says Viagra I wanted!
The pharmacist takes 1 item out of the drawer and serves it
Upset grandfather says pointing to his hand, but I show that I wanted 5 pcs!
The pharmacist gave my grandfather 5 pcs and my grandfather left the pharmacy happy
The next day, my grandfather is at the pharmacy again, but now he knocks with both hands, i.e. with 10 fingers
The pharmacist smiled and asked: I understand that 10 Viagra?
Grandpa replies: no no! I would like something on my hand, because she didn't come

I hope the joke will be understandable
 
Joined
Dec 19, 2020
Messages
42
Points
68

two Russian soldiers walking through the steppe found 2 atomic bombs So they look at and one says: will we disarm this one? and the other, scared, asks: how will it explode? the first replies: what we have of this, we have the second
 
Joined
Jan 9, 2013
Messages
4,021
Points
588

Location
CONWAY SPRINGS, KS
JOHN COULD NOT AGREE MORE I AM GOING TO BE 83 ON 4/29, I THOUGHT I HAVE SEEN A LOT BUT NOTHING LIKE THIS NOT ONLY DO NOT RECONIZE THIS BUT CAN NOT TOLERATE IT. GOD BLESS STAY SAFE ALL DON
 
Joined
Mar 27, 2020
Messages
87
Points
113

I’ve recently turned 85 and I was commiserating with a 90 year old friend who had a few medical issues, I said something like “ Don’t worry I’m right behind you” and quick as he flash he replied “ as long as you don’t catch up”
 
Joined
Nov 15, 2020
Messages
731
Points
298

Location
Hillsburgh, ON, CAN
Hope I don't get kicked off this thread for doing this, but I thought I can just lighten the mood just a tad.......We can all use a laugh sometime......

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

_____________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

_____________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential
downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;
now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

_______________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......

______________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me

for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets

and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that

I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started........

________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

That's how the fight started.

________________________________

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.
I almost wet myself reading the perfect eyesight :rolleyes::eek::eek::eek:ROTFROTFROTF
 
Joined
Mar 9, 2021
Messages
42
Points
48

I am a new member and the title of the thread caught my eye so had to read.
I agree with everything said here and couldn’t agree more. Younger people just don’t seem to care or have respect for people and things.
I won’t go into my history since your server wouldn’t be able to handle that amount of negative text I could write. I will say this however...
I am 65 and decided to fully retire 3 months ago. For the last four years I drove a school bus and it was extremely stressful. When I tell people that, their first comments are,” Wow, those kids must have driven you crazy?”
Nope...the kids were great. IT WAS THE IDIOTS ON THE ROAD!

As mentioned, I could go on for pages regarding this subject suffice it to say, in this and my past jobs, I had enough of the inconsiderate and disrespectful goings-on. It destroyed my patience and interest in doing things.
To fully retire now, I was forced to eliminate certain “extras” but it is worth it. Less money...yes...but less aggravation.

Another thing that has helped me is to slow down and try not to take everything for granted. In other words “Enjoy the Day”. Another mantra I have pushed myself to follow is “The Journey is Half the Fun.”
In past years, my personality in doing projects was to get it done as quickly as possible. Rush, rush, rush. It usually ended up being aggravating and pushing my patience to the max.
Now, when building my new model room, I slowed down and enjoyed the process. I didn’t rush and just stayed in the moment. They call it Mindfulness.
And since, I now find myself coming back to my old self. I have motivation to do things again and hence building ships once more.
I am learning to slow down and enjoy life as best I can. It’s difficult since that’s not really my personality but it’s either that or let the negativity swallow me up.
And my first build after a 30 year hiatus is the Le Soleil Royal.......I‘m going to need all the “Enjoy the Day” Mindfulness I can muster...and to play it safe, I put a lock on my trash can so I won’t be tempted to quit.
 
Joined
Mar 27, 2020
Messages
87
Points
113

I totally agree with you, slower is better, taking your time and letting something evolve has become my new mantra, I’ve been retired for a few years now and in the past I was always pushing myself with my modeling a sort of ‘rushing on to the next stage’ wanting to see what it would look like, only to realise later that things would have been better if I took more time to consider various options in how to build something. I have now worked on some ten craft all radio controlled sailing yachts with the exception of one pusher tug built as a kit. I have come to the conclusion after talking to one professional model maker whose work I admire that the more one builds the better one gets! So there is part of me that would like to start again from the very beginning and slowly work through those ten models without all of the mistakes that I made first time around. of course that isn’t going to happen as A it would be boring and B I probably don’t have the years left to do it. My most recent model a Couta Boat has evolved slowly during the past Covid year starting with just a 2 sheet plan and is still not finished but has proved most satisfying in my not deciding at the start of the build whether it was to be a static model, a sea going free sailor or an RC controlled one but allowing that to be worked out slowly as the project progressed.
It has turned out to be a free sailor but may in fact never get to the water as I am enjoying the model even with out the sails that I have yet to make.
 

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