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What if...

  • Thread starter Thread starter Iterum
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Sep 17, 2018
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Berlin/Germany
... oh yes it is a privat task.

What if I am healthier now than the last half a century due to new medication. What if I would have had them 40years ago? Would I made my studies to a diploma? Would my marriage been still alive? Would I had hold my well paid job? I did never payed a lot of money for alcoholic drinks to steer my mood into a more or less happier direction, I do only smoke good Caribbian cigars - not being dependive in cigarrettes for a big budget a month for smell & smoke. But am I really happier than drinking smokers or smoking drinkers?

Now my new pills do work - I am here and can "suddenly" realize that this "aggressive pile" isn't aggressive at all - it is made from books, drawings, a pair of cmpasses box and can of pencils. Now aggressive Part in it - yilI can touch and Bring it into some structure without burning my fingers. This new Point of View structure is very helpfull and peacefull. I very often do look back on my lost years, my UFOs*, missed possibilities and burnt time I'll never get back again - becoming sad and sadlier...

Shaking my head in my 30sq.yard flat and trying not to become deeply depressive right now...

What if I start to change my course now - not staring onto my own wake of tears?


*U_n_F_inished O_bjects
 
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For sure life can be tough at times, but we just keep looking for the good things. Don’t think about what might have been because honestly you don’t know that it would have been “better”. Think on what is good now, and the path that led you to it.
 
Your past is history and what's done is done. We all have thought about what if I did this or that. Every thing you do in life leads you ahead . Hindsight is a 2 edged sword. What if's don't make the world go round , your choices do. I'm 75 now and feeling every minute of it. So many things I'd like to do but you have to grasp the reality that you can't do things the way you used to. My projects stretch out due to my limitations and degree of pain but I'm grateful that I'm still around to complain about it. Would I have done things differently , sure. But today is today and you never know if there will be a tomorrow so enjoy it while you can and stop worrying about the past.
 
I can certainly understand and relate. Even though I profess to be a man of faith (belief in God and the Lord Christ), I still from time to time succumb to things I regret and wish I had done differently. When you are young and living in it, things are as they are at that moment, but as we get older those "things" start to weight on our minds. Everyone has and goes through those moments. But, I am not perfect either, but I have to continue on a daily basis, putting my faith in God that he will make my path straight.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and He will make your path straight" - which is a daily thing - as I am saying these things from my own personal perspective and practice (which is not easy at times).
 
Chris, I hear you and I feel sympathy for what you are expressing, here. The best path forward, I think, is simply to forge ahead. Your French schooner, La Jacinthe, looks very promising; lovely ship, with great lines. “Stick it out,” in American slang. Small steps. It’s not a huge 17th C., baroque undertaking. Find the reward in seeing it to completion. That, I think, will be the cure for what ails you.
 
I understand where you are coming from, but please let me provide a different perspective. I am a veteran, and I have combat PTSD (the VA’s term, not mine). My experiences changed the very structure of my brain. There is no cure, and nothing can be done to correct my past; I lived it and must live with it. This is so much the truth that many veterans end their lives because of it. However, I refuse to let my past dictate my future; I actively live this way. I wake every morning and tell myself that yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not here yet, so I am living for the best today. You control the very being of who you have been and will be. You cannot change who you have been, but you can control who you are and who you will be. That you are discussing this at all gives me great hope. I wish you the best and am always around if you need an ear to bend!
 
On the brighter side...nice logo for the Berlin Card Yard and interesting YouTube video.
 
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